#IRLIWY: My first safe place, the clothing rack.

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I’ve gotten may comments about our web series ‘I Remember Like It Was Yesterday”, people enjoy the stories and usually have similar ones, which is great for me to listen or read. The constant questions is “why do you enjoy this so much?” The answer is simple, I don’t know, all I can say is that longing, and remembering makes me feel like I’ve been around, I’m shaped in the way that I am because of these memories that made a dent on my character. You can actually map out your growth as a human being when you go back and remember. But I should make it clear that I do not live in the past at all, quite the opposite, I’m not looking through windows on a rainy day while I listen to Miles Davis or The Jackson Five. Well, I’ve done that, but not like all the time.

Any-who, I had written a short post about a story that I remember like it was yesterday, I wanted to share it with all of you, so here it is:

One of my first memories that I remember like it was yesterday is one that I revisit a couple of times every year, I was around 6 years old (circa 1986) , and I went to the store with my mom, the lighting, the carpet, the beige colored wallpaper, and the vintage cash register screamed 1970’s. While mom tried on some dresses I ran around the store like a little lighting bolt as usual, I found a way to create chaos everywhere we went, when finally I decided to hide between the dresses that were hanging from the round clothing racks. I pretended that the store clerks were following me and I had to hide from them, so I watched them from the safety of my little cave. The dresses caressed my skin, the smell of new fabric resided on my nose. I love that smell. It rapidly became a safe place in my mind, a hiding spot that I only knew about, and no one else!. I remember the feeling of happiness and accomplishment taking over me when I found my first hideout outside of my house. That was until my big brother found me, my first thought was “he’s gonna tell on me, or kick me out of my awesome hideout and take my spot”, but he didn’t, he quietly got in there with me and we just hid together for a couple of minutes. In complete silence, we shared a brief look, and it has to be the first time I said to myself “he’s not that bad, I like this guy”. Afterwards we went for ice cream, I got my usual pistachio soft cone, he did vanilla and my mom sat next to us while the soft wind and the sun battled for her golden soft hair.

I’ve  passed by that store thousands of times until one day it was gone. The old sign with the 70’s font, and vintage aroma were all gone. Along with the women’s dresses, the clerks, the parking spaces and my secret hiding spot. All of it gone.

I sometimes I go back to that place in my mind. That little spot between the dresses, that place where at one time no one could find me and I felt at ease. The place where I felt unconditional love for my big brother the first time, I love him so to this day. My heart shrugs a little bit every time I pass by that place, and a gentle smile shows up on my face. 

I had a wonderful childhood, I’m one of the lucky ones.

You can check out our first 3 episodes of #IRLIWY here, new episode every Thursday:

#IRLIWY: Episode ONE

#IRLIWY: Episode TWO